Circumcision Season

It’s Circumcision Season, ya’ll! Decorations are up, music is in the air, late night parties, family reunions, duck walks, it’s all happening. Again.

My research so far has yet to show me any other country that ‘celebrates’ male circumcision in the fashion it’s done here in the Maldives. Sure, the people of Arabia threw one heck of a family reunion, but the kid barely remembers it, because he was like 2 days old. And the Jewish folk also do it early on (8th day from birth), so the kid has no idea that he was born differently, or that his people celebrated it. So, the whole Circumcision Season hype is both interesting and entertaining.

Aaaaarrrgghhh!

You’ve got hospitals providing special packages for circumcision, and different groups working together to host ‘communal post-circumcision parties’. Then there are the shops selling decorative lighting, and ‘Circumcision decorations’ (for those who don’t know; these decorations are just really bright paper decorations and not phallic in any sense). Circumcision Season is one of the busiest seasons for hospitals and lighting stores, not to mention for boduberu bands and entertainers in general. It’s like the Mardi Gras of Maldives, except there’s no nudity, alcohol or beads (comparatively fewer beads).

And a lot less of these

A lot of people, wonder why Muslims and Jews circumcise their men. Now, in addition to the reduces risk of/prevents penile cancer, cervical cancer STDs, urinary tract infections and skin disorders, it’s done for religious purposes. Of course, all these other reasons are disputed and several anti-circumcision groups have pointed out that there’s evidence to the contrary and evidence that negates those reasons. Irrespective of these reasons, most American parents circumcise their male children, not because they think about the medical benefits, but rather for them to fit in. Which might be an added reason for why the Jewish and Muslim men have it done. Like a rite of passage or initiation ritual.

People are weird, the good Doctor agrees

Whatever reason it maybe, the fact of the matter is that it’s Circumcision Season. While some cringe at the thought of being circumcised, others enjoy it for the parties and the presents, i.e. for all the wrong reasons.

The one thing I hate about the Circumcision Season is the late night music. Now, I know you all want to have some fun because your little brother/nephew/cousin or distant relative got circumcised. But people need sleep! Sleep is important. I need sleep! So it’s no surprise that there are at least a few excessive noise complaints during the season. It’s not about being a dick, it’s about being a good neighbor. No one would mind if you jammed as loud as you wanted in the day (unless they have a baby at home). Keep the noise down.

Pardon the expletives, but this is very accurate

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for male circumcision. I’m all for the post-circumcision parties. I’m all for the free food. But, let’s just keep it to a certain level. Let’s not overdo it. Let’s not cut off more than is necessary. Let’s not be pricks about it. Let’s not go nuts. Let’s keep it down? (I wonder how many more innuendos I can come up with).

So to sum up, it’s Circumcision Season. That time of the year when boys aged 6 or above get circumcised, and have to walk like a duck for a week, and have to sleep under a tent, and have people come in and congratulate them for becoming a man. In spite of all the excitement this might bring, let’s be good neighbors and keep the celebrations to a minimum? Let’s all be good neighbors this festive Circumcision Season.

(Neighbor starts playing loud music 😐 )

Dawww!